I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Jan 22, 2007 22:05:56 GMT -6
Ok people, this is where the new adventure thread is going to be. Now I must inform you that this story will have a plot. However, it will a very ridiculous plot. I would compare it to, if you ever saw this episode from Monty Python's Flying Circus, the Cycling Tour. In the beginning the plot will be completely obsured, and then, it will evolve from there, but it is clear. There will [glow=red,2,300]always[/glow] be a plot in this story. Also, the main character can not, and will not, die. However, you may create your own characters and put them into the story. The users will be able to develope the plot as well, so it could get very ridiculous. The next time I post, I hope we can start this great endeavour.
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Post by zoel on Jan 22, 2007 23:31:10 GMT -6
There will not be a plot.
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Jan 23, 2007 19:25:10 GMT -6
There will be. There will be...
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Post by zoel on Jan 23, 2007 21:30:07 GMT -6
I'll bet...
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Post by Cellery on Jan 25, 2007 20:58:21 GMT -6
I think this is supposed to be more like Adventure was, and less like the "new adventure type thingy" things.
In other words, he wants it to be more like a story, with more than one sentance at a time.
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Post by zoel on Jan 27, 2007 0:43:12 GMT -6
same difference
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Jan 29, 2007 17:59:19 GMT -6
Once upon a time there lived a small rodent whose name was Vladamir. Vladamir was a rather interesting rodent who was looked down upon because he had a regular habit of cannibalizing his dead relatives. One day his surviving relatives (not that many since his family was quite promisquious and nearly all of them had by now contracted AIDS) all decided that he needed to be tarred and feathered so they all ganged up on him.
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Post by zoel on Jan 30, 2007 14:36:50 GMT -6
Fortunately for Vladimir, however, it was at this very moment that he was grabbed by a hawk who scooped him up away from his angry family members, carrying him high aloft into the sky. For a moment, Vladimir was happy to have escaped his family, but then he realized that the hawk was most likely going to eat him. "Don't eat me," Vladimir pleaded with the hawk. "I have AIDS and you'll get infected if you eat me."
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Feb 3, 2007 22:24:31 GMT -6
To this, the hawk looked at Vladimir and glared at him, Vladimir cringe. Unfortunately, the hawk was not looking where it was going, and learned very quickly from this mistake. After getting its beak smashed in by a tree trunk, the hawk plummeted to the ground. The bird being unconcience, Vladimir wriggled his way out of the grip of the hawk. Unfortunately, after getting free, he soon realized he standing face to face with a pack of lions. And they looked hungry. So he said to them,"I've got AIDS, and you'll die if you eat me." Then...
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Post by zoel on Feb 4, 2007 12:25:26 GMT -6
one of the lions asked Vladimir if he would please pull a thorn out of his paw. Dutifully, Vladimir pulled the thorn out of the lion's paw. The lion seemed thankful, but just as Vladimir was about to go one of the lions demanded that Vladimir groom the lion's mane. Once this was done, Vladimir was immediately asked to do something else, a trend which continued for several days. Vladimir had in effect become the lions' personal slave. Despairing, he was about to take his own life when...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Feb 8, 2007 20:43:28 GMT -6
God made an appearance. And his voice was heard, "Die cats, die..." Suddenly, a bolt of lightning from the heavens came down and fried the all the lions in one moment. Vladimir, suprisingly unscathed, realized that a new food source had just presented itself, and Vladimir was feeling a bit peckish. Thus, Vladimir proceeded to exploit this new food source.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 8, 2007 20:53:57 GMT -6
Nearby was a disgruntled Ewok who saw the whole affair, and seeing it he began pouting and began his whole existential crisis and began concluding that God was evil, etc, and yada yada. So much so that he decided that he would now be evil and that grabbing a boombox and blasting country music at full decible was an evil thing, thus it was done. As the jungle began to be filled with earshattering music that cast its inbreeding infuence for miles around, Vladamir staggered forward covering his ears trying not to listen. He approached and asked the Ewok, "Um, sir, I don't mean to pry but could you please turn down your, um, 'music,' sir..."
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Post by zoel on Feb 9, 2007 22:41:42 GMT -6
To which the ewok replied "Are you my cousin? If so, will you marry me?" "No, I'm not... you're an ewok and I'm a rat... how could we possibly be related?" "I don't know," the ewok confessed but continued to blast his country music as loudly as possible.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 11, 2007 14:29:25 GMT -6
After a few minutes Vladamir simply gave up and wandered away, but then a few minutes after that the Ewok decided that he was bored with this particular evil act and decided he needed to do a new one. This done he decided that bestiality was another very evil act so he ran off to find Vladamir.
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Post by zoel on Feb 12, 2007 3:28:07 GMT -6
The ewok was easily able to sneak up on Vladimir, who was unable to hear his approach because he had stuffed his ears with cotton in an attempt to block out the horrendous sound of country music. Leaping out from behind a shrub, the ewok grabbed Vladimir, picked him up by the tail and was about to perform all sorts of unspeakably horrible actions to him when Vladimir suddenly shouted, "Don't do it! I have AIDS!"
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 16, 2007 12:22:33 GMT -6
The Ewok merely shrugged, saying that he already had AIDS. Vladamir was about to be horrendously violated when...
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Post by Cellery on Feb 16, 2007 20:52:25 GMT -6
Not to criticize your post, but I think it goes against the point of this thread.
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Feb 17, 2007 15:43:13 GMT -6
No. This is fine.
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Post by zoel on Feb 18, 2007 12:34:11 GMT -6
Some rather annoying people kept interrupting the story without even being so kind as to use little [aside][/aside] tags to make it perfectly clear that what they were talking about was not actually part of the story.
Fortunately, while the narrators were busy discussing the acceptability of having Vladimir be violated by an AIDS infected Ewok, he managed to slip away. Finding a gun, Valdimir returned and shot the Ewok several times in the head and then, just to be sure he was really dead, dissolved his body in acid.
Having thereby ridded the world of a great evil, Vladimir was praised as a hero by all and declared the chief of a local tribe of rats, all of whom had been repeatedly sodomized by the ewok before Valdimir killed it....
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 20, 2007 13:10:21 GMT -6
And of course, with Vladamir as the village chief it was not long before his aforementioned habit of eating the dead caught the attention of his shocked new underlings...
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Post by zoel on Feb 20, 2007 20:00:16 GMT -6
They soon started copying Vladimir, and it wasn't long before it was almost impossible to find a dead body that hadn't already been picked to the bone. It got so bad, in fact, that the memebers of the tribe would often congregate around the hut of a dying person so that they would be among the first to get part of that person's dead body. At first Vladimir thought nothing of this practice, but then he found out that someone had actually gone to the extreme of "hastening" the death of one elderly mouse because they were especially hungry...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Mar 3, 2007 22:41:29 GMT -6
It was at this point that Vladimir decided to protest this, but the tribe then decided to try and eat Vladimir.
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Post by zoel on Mar 4, 2007 13:28:40 GMT -6
They immediately grabbed him and chained him to a post, but fortunately he was able to escape when someone ate through his left arm. Vladimir immediatley fled to...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Mar 7, 2007 21:28:32 GMT -6
Greenland.
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Post by zoel on Mar 7, 2007 23:59:42 GMT -6
which, to his dissapointment, turned out not to be green but was in fact covered with glaciers...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 8, 2007 0:24:55 GMT -6
Vladimir looked around and eventually decided that the glaciers were making the place too cold and that they needed to be done away with. Just then he saw a group of people nearby and discovered they were all upset and frantic about something called "global warming" and that it was going to melt all the glaciers. Excited, Vladimir approached them and asked exactly how one could achieve this "global warming."
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Post by zoel on Mar 8, 2007 7:08:17 GMT -6
unfortunately, he soon discovered that global warming was a complete myth and the only way to actually heat the globe was to make the sun bigger. And so, Vladimir became a planet snacher, grabbing planets to throw into the sun. Unfortunately, he realized too late that the planet he had just thrown into the sun was his own home-planet...
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Post by Cellery on Mar 11, 2007 19:50:07 GMT -6
and while this was a good way to get rid of the glaciers, it ruined much of the point. Not to mention now he was most likely the only rat in the entire universe. Vladmir realized that the only way that he could fix this would be either to restore his planet, or go to another universe.
(or kill himself, but that goes against the rules. so no.)
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
|
Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 11, 2007 21:19:38 GMT -6
At which point a random interuniversal portal appeared of its own accord and out stepped a mildly disheveled and awkward looking man with a face full of pimples. "Hi there!" the man said before Vladamir could get a word out. "My name is Nathan and I'm a Jedi with an orange lightsaber! See?" he said, again interupting Vladamir, waving out his orange lightsaber and simultaniously almost slicing the rat's head off. "Oh sorry! That's my fault. You know though, lightsabers have got to be the coolest weapons ever invented. They can cut through anything!" Vladamir was about to ask where the "Jedi" had come from when Nathan continued on with his ramblings. "Yeah, anything! Like, well, almost your head just a second ago but they can also cut through almost any monster! Come on back through the portal with me, we can go to some universe and kill monsters! It'll be swell!" Again, before Vladamir could get a word out Nathan grabbed him by the arm and dragged him through the portal...
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Post by zoel on Mar 18, 2007 11:41:47 GMT -6
the other side of the portal was... purple. Not just a little purple, mind you, but a strong blazing purple so incredibly purplish that it hurt Vladimir's eyes just to look at it. Covering his eyes with his remaining hand (the other having been eaten by cannibals as already described) he staggered forward into the blinding purpleness...
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