HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Aug 7, 2008 14:40:31 GMT -6
It was at this moment when our heroes were suddenly assailed by a group of telemarketers, who unfortunetely were forgotten in considering who went where in the extra layers of hell...
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Post by zoel on Aug 8, 2008 20:15:27 GMT -6
Since there was no special layer for telemarketers, they were forced to wander between the different layers of hell selling exclusive hell merchandise...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Aug 12, 2008 21:08:22 GMT -6
The T-shirts were especially popular, and Sauron immediately had to buy one...
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Post by zoel on Aug 13, 2008 19:08:00 GMT -6
"You can't just buy one!" Abe protested. "They're telemarketers, you have to wait for them to call and charge you an exorbitant fee!"
"But I want one!" Sauron protested.
"Then give the nice telemarketer your phone number and maybe he'll get around to you," Vlad suggested.
Sauron dutifully wrote down a telephone number on a slip of paper and handed it to the telemarketer.
"Wait, when did you get a telephone?" Nathan demanded.
"I don't," Sauron replied. "I gave them yours."
"I have a telephone?" Nathan said, still sounding surprised.
"You are a telephone," Vlad said.
"What?" Nathan said.
"Yup, says right here," Sauron pointed. "Robotic chicken/telephone..."
Suddenly Nathan's tail started to ring.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
|
Post by HCM Brain Candy on Aug 22, 2008 10:17:44 GMT -6
"Hello" Vlad said as he picked up the phone?" "Hello, you are preapproved for our new platinum credit card!"
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Post by zoel on Aug 24, 2008 12:13:09 GMT -6
"Is it actually made out of platinum?" Nathan immediately demanded to know.
"No, its made out of uranium..." the telemarketer replied calmly.
Suddenly a hail of radioactive credit-cards started to rain down upon our protagonists...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Sept 3, 2008 20:09:53 GMT -6
Suddenly Saddam Hussein appears from the 17th level of Hell, and has the brilliant idea to shoot a Uranium bullet at a group of credit cards...
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Post by zoel on Sept 5, 2008 19:47:04 GMT -6
Seconds later, a nuclear fireball engulfs the two surrounding circles of hell.
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Post by The Radical Communist on Nov 9, 2008 14:12:25 GMT -6
This of course mutated the demons in hell into North Koreans...
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Post by zoel on Nov 17, 2008 11:25:53 GMT -6
At which point they all start believing that Kim Jong Il is god. Since demons hate god, they decide to kill him...
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Post by The Radical Communist on Nov 30, 2008 18:31:03 GMT -6
This naturally leads to an unstable North Korean relaunching the Korean War which our group of hereos mysteriously find themselves in the middle of, including Sauron who had just been transported whilst taking a shower...
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Post by zoel on Dec 2, 2008 13:07:08 GMT -6
Our heroes soon fight their way to the North Korean border with China where they encounter...
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Post by Cellery on Feb 7, 2009 23:10:31 GMT -6
several large frat boys who think that they're samuri warriors...
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Post by zoel on Mar 9, 2009 7:12:16 GMT -6
The samaurai frat boys stare omenously at Sauron, who still has a bunch of soap-suds on him from his recently interrupted shower...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on May 7, 2009 22:15:49 GMT -6
Vlad then offers free beer to the frat boys, who graciously accept.
Within a minute, the frat boys are passed out on the ground and our heroes easily walk past them. However, they are then confronted by Mao Tse Dung...
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Post by zoel on Aug 3, 2009 12:40:10 GMT -6
..and his ocean of communist supporters.
Fearing that the west will lose out in the population war, Sauron decides that it is his patriotic duty to make as many babies as possible. Dutifully he attempts to mate with...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Apr 13, 2010 21:51:51 GMT -6
Oprah.
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Post by zoel on Apr 18, 2010 19:34:12 GMT -6
Sauron and Oprah have millions of babies, all of whom look exactly like Michael Jackson except that instead of feet they have...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Jun 4, 2010 23:05:17 GMT -6
Pikachus, which had the unfortunate tendency of causing seizures in small children...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Jun 20, 2010 14:31:25 GMT -6
As the myriad children of the world fell one by one to the seizure inducing powers of the pikachu-footed Micheal Jackson-esque Sauron-Oprah spawn. Sauron began to have second thoughts about them, but before he could act Oprah kicked him out of the house for not recycling an can of Mountain Dew, "Authoritarian" tendencies and general lack of hygiene. Soon pressured by the media which began a grand poop throwing contest the Federal government felt it had to act; the President made a huge speech in front of Mt. Rushmore promising action. It was proposed that rock-type pokemon could defeat the electric-type pikachu footed... things, but during the drafting of the congressional legislation the plan of action was stated to fight this evil with "the power of rock and roll." Numerous rock bands offered their services, but in the ensuing 293,543,764,098 page document someone discovered that a line had been inserted that only a rat could perform the rock and roll, and so Vlad found himself hustled off with his gang, given $10 and told to start the greatest rock and roll band ever.
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Post by zoel on Aug 15, 2010 15:12:40 GMT -6
Vlad immediately set out to recruit members. He was amazed to find that "I have AIDS" not only didn't make him a pariah in the rock-and-roll scene, but actually made him somewhat more popular. Vlad immediately attempted to get other people with AIDS to join his band starting with Mr. Brady from the Brady Bunch...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Aug 20, 2010 14:05:03 GMT -6
And then, on Mr. Brady's suggestion, Vlad travels to Swaziland to recruit more band members.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Aug 22, 2010 18:39:59 GMT -6
But before they could set two feet within the country they were accosted by the king who desperately wanted to show what an awesome country it was by taking them to a grand banquet where he promptly spent 40% of the countries GDP on the celebration...
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Post by zoel on Sept 13, 2010 21:03:42 GMT -6
"Only two apples, eh?" Vlad stared down at the feast. "And what is the rest of the band supposed to eat?"
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