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Post by zoel on Jan 30, 2007 14:37:51 GMT -6
and proceeded to kick him repeatedly in the groin...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person 
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Feb 3, 2007 22:09:29 GMT -6
Then he realized Osama had no testicles...
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Post by zoel on Feb 4, 2007 12:27:44 GMT -6
Adem was just about to think of another way to attack Osama Bin Laden when Bin Laden suddenly exploded...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 8, 2007 20:48:05 GMT -6
Alas, Adem was in the afterlife again, only this time for whatever freakish cosmic reason it was Care Bear Hell...
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Post by zoel on Feb 9, 2007 22:42:45 GMT -6
"I love you!" one of the care bears shouted, running to greet him...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 11, 2007 14:23:35 GMT -6
But before the Care Bear could open its "heart" up to reveal its demonic "thingie," Adem grabbed a chainsaw and...
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Post by zoel on Feb 12, 2007 3:54:19 GMT -6
cut it into a million tiny pieces.
Within a few short weeks, Adem had killed all of the care-bears in care bear hell, making it much less hell-like.
Since the gods decided this was completely inappropriate, they were forced to...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 16, 2007 12:21:12 GMT -6
Condemn Adem to the realm of eternal Topicality arguments.
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Post by zoel on Feb 16, 2007 22:14:39 GMT -6
But then Adem ran an RVI on all of the topicality arguments because they were so obviously stupid thereby winning all of his rounds.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 20, 2007 13:05:51 GMT -6
But then Adem got cocky and ran the genital multilation DA...
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Post by zoel on Feb 20, 2007 20:01:28 GMT -6
and at the end of the round the judged suddenly leap out of their desk, the evil grin on their face clearly revealing their intentions...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 8, 2007 0:26:06 GMT -6
At which point Adem paniced and midst his panic cut his own balls off.
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Post by zoel on Mar 8, 2007 7:06:25 GMT -6
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Adam cried out in pain
"Why did you do that?"
the judge asked
"I thought you were going to..."
Adam replied.
"Actually, I was going to shake your hand,"
the judge answered. "That was the best da I've ever heard."
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 11, 2007 21:11:02 GMT -6
And so Adem was left holding the rapidly shriviling remains of his balls. This was quite distressing obviously, so Adem sought out to preserve his "precious" by utilizing...
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Post by zoel on Mar 18, 2007 11:44:32 GMT -6
clorox bleach. Unfortunately, this just dissolved them, leaving Ionix holding a lump of reddish-white goop...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Mar 19, 2007 18:48:54 GMT -6
Thus prompting Adem to wonder why Ionix had suddenly appeared and why he was holding Adem's now deceased testicals...
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Post by zoel on Mar 19, 2007 19:33:42 GMT -6
The obvious answer, of course, was that after being turned into a plum Ionix had appeared out of the purple hole that was hovering over Adem's head.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 20, 2007 21:58:23 GMT -6
At which point there could have been a meaningful conversation pertaining to both character's roles as protagonists but Adem at the moment felt that (plum) Ionix looked awefuly tasty...
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Post by zoel on Mar 21, 2007 16:19:03 GMT -6
and also noticed that he was rather similar in shape to a certain pair of organs Adam had just lost...
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Post by The Radical Communist on Mar 21, 2007 21:34:09 GMT -6
Which of course resulted in nuclear war.
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Post by zoel on Mar 22, 2007 14:00:59 GMT -6
Fortunately, Adem was not in a large metropolitan district and so he was not vaporized by the simultanious launch of nuclear missiles from Russia, China, North Korea, Iran and France at the United States. Unfortuantely, the Star-Wars missile defense hadn't quite been perfected and instead of a bunch of patriot missiles being launched into space to intercept the ICBM's, the air-force instead lanched a large number of wookies into space...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 22, 2007 18:18:48 GMT -6
And since Dexter made vaguely Wookie like sounds he was thrown in as well. Not exactly wanting to be left on Earth for the nuclear winter, Adem managed to convince the Air Force that he was Dexter's handler so that he too could be sent into space...
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Post by zoel on Mar 23, 2007 12:50:40 GMT -6
Unfortunately, after being stuck in a tiny spaceship with Dexter for several hours, Adem was starting to get a headache from Dexter's ceaseless barking. Furthermore, he had no idea how exactly either he or Dexter were going to be able to intercept the missiles and prevent nuclear war from wiping out the inhabitants of Earth. In fact, he was starting to think that this whole Star Wars idea was a bit silly.
Suddenly, there appeared outside of Dexter and Adem's spaceship the first of the several thousand ICBM's headed towards America...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 30, 2007 15:23:02 GMT -6
At which Dexter began barking and with the fate of America in the balance Adem realized he didn't have the faintest clue what he was suppossed to be doing...
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Post by zoel on Mar 31, 2007 8:00:13 GMT -6
He rembered something about trying to prevent total nuclear war, but Dexter's incessant barking was so loud that it was almost impossible for him to think of how this would be done.
"Maybe if I sing something," Adem thought to himself and began humming a little.
At this point, however, Dexter had spotted the ICBM which for some reason he thought was a big dog-treat and so leapt out of the spaceship window in an attempt to go eat it. Needless to say, this broke the window leaving Adem in the complete vaccume of space...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Apr 9, 2007 21:12:18 GMT -6
Adem of course found the vacume of space to be highly uncomfortable and decided that it needed to be done away with...
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Post by zoel on Apr 10, 2007 8:52:01 GMT -6
And so he unplugged it and threw it out the window. The vaccume fell several stories to the ground and upon hitting it produced a splendid crashing sound and broke into several pieces...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Apr 21, 2007 10:17:03 GMT -6
But the vaccume was not content with this new existance, namely of being shattered into tiny pieces all over the pavement. In discontent it cursed the pavement's mother, who in turn showed up and seeing her offspring pavement in a sobbing fit, the mother procedded to smash the vaccume pieces into even tinier pieces. Adem's reaction to all of this was to walk up to the mother and ask...
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Post by zoel on Apr 21, 2007 11:40:44 GMT -6
"when you step on a scale, does it say 'to be continued?'"
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Apr 23, 2007 20:59:24 GMT -6
And everyone knows that you should never comment on the size of a woman if you value your life. However, Adem was not everyone. The mother decided that it was going to smash Adem into tiny pieces, when Adem was saved by...
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