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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Jan 11, 2004 20:51:24 GMT -6
One-half upon a time, there was a boy named Antidisestablishmentarinism. One day while Antidisestablishmentarinism was taking a stroll one day...
Note(There will beNo killing everybody and that being the end of that!!! I WILL keep right on going and ignore any posts like that!!!)
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Post by The Admin on Jan 11, 2004 21:32:53 GMT -6
But of course he was insulted for belief in people who oppose people who tear down buildings....
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Jan 11, 2004 21:42:22 GMT -6
And rightly so, they said. They told Antidisestablishmentarinism that he was crazy for believing in people who oppose people who tear down buildings. So while taking the afore mentioned stroll, he came to the conclusion that he should see a phyciatrist to see if he truely was crazy...
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Post by The Admin on Jan 12, 2004 12:12:45 GMT -6
The psychiatrist, being a psychiatrist, confidantly told him he was and then went on to ask him how he felt about the whole matter....
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Post by Swanson on Jan 14, 2004 21:38:38 GMT -6
Where at the psychiatrist told him he was a raving lunatic. Well, he said, It would surprize me, if i didn't know that I was really just a reincarnated toad, but since i am, i can no longer be shocked by anything...And so it came to pass that Antidisestablismentarianism came spend a little time on the rubber ranch, in a padded room, where the gave him seditives and made him instead realize that he was infact, still a squirrel. Antidisestablismentarianism could often be found, chewing nuts, and stockpiling acorns under his bed, the psychiatrists called it a success and released him, whereat he was hit by a car. the end, oh, wait, owww, okay, the author has informed me that he was not hit by a car and that he infact went to california and lived in a redwood, and started his squirly life, untill this was interuped by a toad, who thought he was the mayor of bejork. The toad/mayor of bejork told the him many things, and so Antidisestablismentarianism set out upon his adventure where at he was struck with a wet and smell substance which turned out to be...
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Post by The Admin on Jan 15, 2004 11:51:29 GMT -6
A rather large quantity of tree sap. Antidisestablishmentarianism, ADEM for short, looked around to see where the sap had come from. But of course, it had come from one of the many trees that were all around. Adem quickly concluded that the trees were actually an army of giants planning to squish him. Bravely, he prepared to....
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Jan 16, 2004 18:47:52 GMT -6
Grab his cell phone and call for "help!!!!" He opened it up and began to press "9", "1",... Adem paused for a moment, trying frantically to remember what the last number was. Desperatly, he...
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Post by Swanson on Jan 16, 2004 20:18:44 GMT -6
Then, he was steped on, and he was squished. His brains leaked out every where. Several days latter, the squished, smelly, dried, and crusty remains of Adem were scraped off his shoe by an evil bunny. The bunny preformed a black mass, and when the sacrife came, there were no small creatures around, so the bunny sacrificed himself, and Adem was brought before the dark powers...
Hmm, the Dark lord said, well, I guess we really can't keep you here, if you did nothing to istigate the black mass, hmmm, this is sad, I thought i had a new friend, he said, which was followed by the crack of the wip of darkness, and a scream as the Dark lord's old friend was hit, in a very painfull place, the third toe on your left foot. "well, sorry, but uh, if i can go, then i'd better get going, you know, not that i want to leave you, but, uh, i just don't think that this is what i want for my "restfull slumber". Shit, the Dark lord said, then he frowned and flicked Adem back into the real world, without flames, and wips, and just evil people, like the dark lords best friend, Hitler. Adem, was granted enough time to, uh, well quite litterally 'pull' himself back together again. So, Adem, newly rejuvenated, and slightly smelly, walked out into the brave new world, until he found a town, and on the building was a picture, or a slightly masculine woman, and it said, "Big Broth, wait, Sister is watching( phew, almost violated a copywrite there)". Adem walked into the town and found...
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Post by The Admin on Jan 16, 2004 20:25:29 GMT -6
That the nation was laboring under the cruel iron pinky of President Shrubbery, who had been re-elected after Howard Dean got the democratic nomination. As things normally go, president Shrubbery had declared that France was on the axis of evil as evidenced by their inability to pronounce the word antidisestablishmentarianism without looking silly. Immedately, he had started a massive public ad campaign against all people who were French, spoke French, looked like French, or just happened to have more sucess at womanizing then he did. Eventually, President Shrubbery had simply declared that the French had infiltrated the whole society and the only thing to be done was to have the no-thought police spy on everyone all the time....
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Jan 20, 2004 18:12:26 GMT -6
Adem, upon seeing all this, decided to do something about it. That is, he went to a local donought shop and bought a whole lot of donoughts (?). As he walked out he was hit by a wandering telephone pole that had an odd oppsesion with running over people and then following them around calling them "Hey you, frisky man"...
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Post by The Admin on Feb 29, 2004 16:32:32 GMT -6
Fortunatley, the telephone pole had never spent a week in Manhatten and therefore was entirly unprepared for Adem's response, which was to pull out a couple of oozies and blast it to pieces. A much crispier telephone-pole eventually retreated to a monestary in Tibet where it would learn to levetate small monkeys with its mind...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 13, 2004 18:34:14 GMT -6
Adem then one day decided to launch a crusade against people who put things on top of other things, seeing as how some people had gone against Monty Python's advice and continued to put things on top of other things. He walked up to a grand meeting of the society and something under something else. The members all cried "Blasphemy!" and...
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Post by The Admin on May 16, 2004 14:24:13 GMT -6
...attempted to impail him on the blunt end of a water closet. Unfortunately, due to illness, Adem's landlord's wife had been unable to visit the WC for nearly six months. I assure you however, that the acoustic qualities of the WC are wonderful and even the slightest delicate note may be heard. Adem decided to sue his landlord and went out to find a lawyer when suddenly...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 16, 2004 21:25:55 GMT -6
There emerged from the doorway an elaphant and a donkey. They were arguing about something, no one else seemed to be paying attention, when suddenly all in the building: Adem, the landlord's wife, the members of the society that puts things on top of other things, and the elaphant and the donkey all became victims of the Chinnese Communist Conspiracy...
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Post by The Admin on May 17, 2004 11:05:18 GMT -6
...Adem, knowing what was best for him, immediately offered his assistance to Mao Tse Tung. Mao accepted Adem's offer of aid, as he was in great need of people more then two feet tall...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 17, 2004 18:15:25 GMT -6
And he told Adem he was in dire need of wart removal cream. And so, he left to find some, and found some he did, in the arms of a dead penguin on Mars...
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Post by The Admin on May 19, 2004 10:37:55 GMT -6
The penguin being dead, however, and mars being 70 degrees below zero, was frozen stiff. Adem struggled to free the wart-removal cream from the frozen arms of the penguin but try though he might could not. At last Adem decided to...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 22, 2004 20:04:27 GMT -6
Forget the whole affair and move on. Remembering that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, Adem decided to look around Mars for a bit...
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Post by The Admin on May 24, 2004 11:03:13 GMT -6
He promptly encountered a group of women who were trying to figure out where all the men had gone. Adem later discovered that all the men had gone off to Venus to try and find the women. At the time, however, Adem merely mumbled something about a frozen penguin and continued on his way...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 24, 2004 16:31:24 GMT -6
Then an evil man with a fish bowl jumped out and attacked Adem...
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Post by The Admin on May 25, 2004 10:14:34 GMT -6
Adem grabbed the fish bowl out of the man's hands and dumped the contents out onto the cold Martain Earth. The water froze almost instantly turning the goldfish inside into a fishicle...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 25, 2004 20:53:20 GMT -6
The fish's ghost came to. It raised itself to eye level with Adem and spoke unto him, "What, is the airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?!"
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on May 26, 2004 18:13:21 GMT -6
Adem dicided to ignore him completely and called the ghost busters. They then arrived on Mars and caught the ghost. The man decided, for no good reason, to run away. Adem continued on his way.
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 27, 2004 6:12:08 GMT -6
Adem became bored and left Mars. He decided to go to the planet Vulcan...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on May 28, 2004 17:12:23 GMT -6
Once there he was attacked by...
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Post by The Admin on May 28, 2004 19:45:59 GMT -6
A man with pointy ears!
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 28, 2004 21:15:41 GMT -6
Who spoke only in full, uncontracted third person... "This man with pointy ears knows who Antidisestablishmentarianism is. Antidisestablishmentarianism is Antidisestablishmentarianism, and cannot hide from the fact that Antidisestablishmentarianism's identity is inescapable. Antidisestablishmentarianism..."
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Post by The Admin on May 29, 2004 20:15:56 GMT -6
...smote the man with the pointy ears over the head several times with a piece of a wet noodle, violently.
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on May 30, 2004 22:27:21 GMT -6
And in doing so gave himself severe lacerations to his arm. Then he...
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Post by The Admin on Jun 2, 2004 19:51:04 GMT -6
decided to eat the noodle instead. This caused him to feel very...
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