HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Oct 4, 2007 11:58:33 GMT -6
In response to Logan's power vacume Andrew develops a new vacume that runs on 1 amp, which promptly outsells all of Logan's vacumes and Andrew makes a huge profit, with which he uses to build a weather control device to hold the world ransom. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Oct 7, 2007 12:42:39 GMT -6
Fortunately, however, the only real ability of Andrew's weather controlling thingie was to make it rain bubble-gum and candy-drops so the world doesn't really feel all that intimidated. Logan then develops a device that can turn all of the people's gums in the world into flesh-eating worms.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Oct 9, 2007 11:39:34 GMT -6
Andrew is trying to think of a response but has to run to the bathroom really bad to take a crap. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Oct 9, 2007 20:57:56 GMT -6
While Andrew is in the bathroom, Logan kidnaps his dogs and throws them off of a bridge Andrew is so despondent that he kills himself.
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Post by Georgina on Oct 18, 2007 7:45:20 GMT -6
yumyum jelly babies
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Oct 18, 2007 19:49:55 GMT -6
The jelly beans explode, and they blow up... um, Mozembique. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Oct 19, 2007 13:35:16 GMT -6
Mozambique becomes upset at having once again been dragged into this pointless battle and goes on a killing spree. One of his victims just so happens to be the guy who was supposed to fix Andrew's refrigerator. Andrew dies of food poisoning.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Oct 25, 2007 9:30:59 GMT -6
Andrew's refrigerator gets upset over how such a great person has died and runs out on his own killing spree. The refrigerator's killing spree, however, doesn't kill anyone whose absence could lead to Logan's demise. Logan however is killed by a random assasin. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Oct 28, 2007 17:44:05 GMT -6
Logan then decides that he's tired of always being killed by random assassins and so he launches a massive campaign of genocide against anyone wearing a suspicious-looking black-and-white outfit... Andrew happens to be dressed up as a penguin and so gets killed.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Oct 31, 2007 10:10:40 GMT -6
Things are looking grim for random assasins around the world when suddenly one of them discovers dye-died shirts, who then freely walks up to Logan and wrenches out his pancreas. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Oct 31, 2007 13:20:46 GMT -6
The pancreas is an important internal organ whose function remains utterly unknown to modern medicine, although it is widely known that people without a pancreas turn into raving maniacs with the ability to bend spoons with their mind... First you must realize the truth, that there is no spoon. Then, it is not the spoon that bends, but your mind... Those people who believe in mind over matter haven't said anything of terrible importance, since when they say "mind" they are merely imagining another form of matter... Imagination is the ultimate aphrodisiac... Logan causes hordes of women to swoon at his feet by bending spoons with his pancreas.
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Post by The Radical Communist on Nov 2, 2007 20:46:05 GMT -6
But then a problem immediatly occurs when Ferguson runs up and snatches Logan's pancreas, leaving Logan without said pancreas... Iruleall
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Post by zoel on Nov 3, 2007 13:14:06 GMT -6
"Noo! My pancreas!" Logan shouted in pain, but no one heard his cry.
"Hmm... I wonder what will happen if I eat this glowing blue thingie," Logan said to himself.
The glowing blue thingie, however, was actually a plasma grenade and so it exploded inside of Logan....
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Nov 11, 2007 14:37:59 GMT -6
"Oh, what fun!" IZOD says as he takes a frag grenade as it exlodes in his stomach. "Haha!" he laughs. "Hey! Hey! I can do better!" shouts Steven as he takes an atomic bomb and pushes it down his throat. Boom. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Nov 12, 2007 14:22:45 GMT -6
Unfortunately, the high explosives soon become angry at being eaten and so decide to go on strike. Andrew attempts to blow up Logan with an H-bomb, but it fails to explode... Logan drops an anvil on Andrew's head.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Nov 29, 2007 12:34:46 GMT -6
The anvil however is undergoing an existential crisis and wonders if it really exists or not. The next moment the anvil blinks out of existance and Andrew runs over and kicks Logan in the balls. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Nov 30, 2007 15:52:12 GMT -6
Andrew's balls have their own existential crisis, casing Andrew to spontaneously transform into a woman... Needless to say, his pathetic girlie kick has no effect on Logan... Actually, most girls are probably stronger than Andrew... Andrew mutates back into Andrew and Logan twists his arm behind his back...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 12, 2007 16:20:35 GMT -6
...of doom! I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Dec 16, 2007 12:58:38 GMT -6
Andrew's Back of doom? Like this? But what does it do...? I guess it explodes, taking Andrew with it.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 18, 2007 17:51:18 GMT -6
... To Valhalha. This, of course, is a less than satisfactory development to Andrew as the spirits of all the Vikings come together and belittle Andrew for his meager frame. It wouldn't be so bad, but they keep doing it all day long. Finally Andrew declares them all stupid barbarians and insults their mothers, fathers, and goldfishes. This last insult infuriates the Vikings to such degree that they turn all red and explode. Andrew, finding himself now alone in Valhallha, looks around for a weapon to use against Logan. After some searching, he finds Thor's Hammer, which of course is too heavy for Andrew to lift it. Instead he gets angry and starts kicking the hammer. This continues for about 22 straight minutes when the hammer suddenly falls through the ground and plummets towards Earth, where it lands of top of Logan and causes him to go SPLAT! I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Dec 19, 2007 13:37:47 GMT -6
Fortunately for Logan, however, the Thor hammer like everything else in Valhalla is merely an illusion caused by the fact that a lot of the Vikings ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms before going on their raids. Logan decides that he too should start doing mushrooms and before long has a hallucination of a giant all-powerful gun that can beat anything. Logan uses the all-powerful gun to kill Andrew.
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Post by The Radical Communist on Dec 22, 2007 17:33:20 GMT -6
Logan then starts seeing dodo's and exotic birds that come to poke his eyes out, causing him to be afraid to go to sleep; eventually he learns to with his eyes open. Soon afterwards after losing a bet, Logan has to take a cross country trip on a Greyhound bus. While there he falls asleep and a murder occurs, which Logan of course does not see but his eyes are open so he is thought a witness and done away with. I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Dec 23, 2007 13:17:32 GMT -6
But rather than kill him, the murder instead decides to put him in a box and mail him to Antarctica. Naturally, Logan is very afraid of the penguins there at first, but after a while he learns to speak their language and convinces them to help him kill Andrew.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 24, 2007 18:49:43 GMT -6
Unfortunetely Logan cheated in his learning to understand the language of the penguins by using a Monty Python approved phrasebook. Thus, when he tried to ask, "Could you help me kill Andrew," he in reality asked them, "may I fondle your mother's breast repeatedly." I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Dec 25, 2007 0:22:22 GMT -6
This confused the penguins, since not being mammals their mothers did not have breasts. So distressed were the penguins upon realizing that they didn't have breasts that they all decided to get implants. Naturally, this resulted in a huge revenue stream for Antarctica's plastic surgeons, who had prior to this been forced to make a living liposuctioning passing seals. Logan siphons off some of the money that all of these plastic surgeons have been making by suing them for malpractice by showing them a picture of Andrew's face and claiming that it was his own after a very expensive surgery. He then uses this money to buy a frying pan, with which he whacks Andrew over the head.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 31, 2007 14:01:22 GMT -6
But not before Logan is suddenly bitten by a wereplatapus...
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Post by zoel on Dec 31, 2007 14:15:24 GMT -6
Logan starts biting other people and soon he has a whole army of wereplatypuses with which to attack andrew...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Jan 8, 2008 23:27:10 GMT -6
Unfortunetely, Logan is raped by carebears... I rule all.
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Post by zoel on Jan 15, 2008 0:18:28 GMT -6
Logan goes on to publish a book about how he survived being abused as a child and became stronger because of it. This becomes a nationwide bestseller and hundreds of millions of people around the world feel sorry for him. So sorry, in fact, that they gladly join his army and help him avenge himself on who else, but Andrew.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Jan 26, 2008 21:22:55 GMT -6
Andrew then picks his nose and runs around threatening to smear everyone with his booger. Everyone flees in terror, not noticing that they are all standing next to a cliff, which they fall off of and land on top of and crush Logan. I rule all.
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