Genius Wars

[The Radical Communist]

But then as usual his editor simply writes him back into existance with a bazooka...
Which leads to (dead) Logan and
Andrew rules all.

[zoel]

Shortly thereafter, however, a man juggling a teapot and three saucers is mistaken for the Orken Man and asked to squish cockroaches. He drops the teapot, shattering it and cauing a butterfly to flap its wings in the Amazon which naturally leads to nuclear war.
Somehow, we're not exactly sure how, Logan gains control of the ultimate cookie cutter and therefore rules all.

[HCM Brain Candy]

But the only cookie dough he can find in the aftermath of the nuclear war is for rasin cookies...
Zoel commits suicide and,
Andrew rules all.

[zoel]

But it turns out that rasin cookies while uterrly useless for eating are absolutely wonderful as weapons.
Logan beams BC over the head with a rasin cookie.
I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

...No they don't...
Andrew gets up and smacks some sense into Logan with a shovel.
*Wham!*
Andrew rules all.

[zoel]

Andrew's too weak to actually pick the shovel up so he uses a spoon instead.
After stealing the spoon from Andrew, Logan twists Andrews arm backwards.
I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

Ah, but Andrew reaches into his pocket and grabs... a spork! Deftly he impals Logan with it.
Andrew rules all.

[zoel]

The spork, however, is made out of plastic and snaps off when it comes in contact with Logan's amazingly thick skull.
Logan quickly retaliates by shoving a spoon up Andrews nose where it becomes lodged and causes a very painful nosebleed.
Andrew drowns in his own blood and dies.
I RULE ALL

[HCM Brain Candy]

But Andrew had shoved a lightbrite up his nose when he was three so he was used to this sort of thing. Deftly, he snatches the spoon from his nose and goes and covers Maymer in the sticky blood/mucus combo. She dies of disgust, and the world rejoices and crowns Andrew ruler of all.
I rule all.

[zoel]

Andrew sticks a lightbright up his nose.... and is mistaken for Ruldolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Santa Andrew to his sleigh and forces him to go from house to house delivering christmas presents.
I get a bazooka for christmas,
I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

But then on the way back I hijack santa's sleigh and use it for destructive purposes! I also take over Santa's workshop and drive foward the machine of war! I then take over the world with an unstopable robot army and a giant armada.
I rule all.

[zoel]

Aha, but all of your robots are built by elves so they're really small.
Logan's soldiers step on Andrew's robot army.
I RULE ALL.

[The Radical Communist]

But then all of Logan's soldiers are marked and don't get Christmas presents. Dismayed, they all defect to Andrew.
I rule all.

[zoel]

But then, for fun, Andrew gives them all gift-wrapped grenades for Chirstmas forgetting that they will inevitabely pull the pin in the process of unwrapping the grenade.
Needless to say, all of Andrew's soliders die.
Logan gets his soldiers legos instead.

I RULE ALL

[HCM Brain Candy]

"I can imagine a world without war, without hate, without violence. Then I could see us conqering that world, because they'd never expect it"
I rule all.

[zoel]

BC seems to have decided that Logan is without hate, without violence.

(Not Violent) Logan hits Andrew over the head with a frying pan.

I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

But Andrew decides to be more lethal and blows Logan's head off with a bazooka...
I rule all.

[zoel]

But Logan ducks just in time and the bazooka ricochets off a wall instead hitting Foster.
Foster, who is extremly aggrivated at for being shot at proceeds to destroy Andrew with the whole of his weapons arsenal.

Foster rules all.

[HCM Brain Candy]

But Foster is arrested for being named for a beer under the age of 21...
I rule all.

[zoel]

Unfortunately, Foster is exile to the British penal colony in New Zealand, far too near to Australia for his liking.
Soon he is discovered and drunk.
The mob of drunk Australians then launches Australia's entire nuclear weapons cache at Bermuda destroying Andrew and his hopes of world conquest.

I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

They did not know that Andrew had given up on Bermuda as it was too warm for his tastes. He instead went to Pluto, were he could destroy Earth without having to worry.
(Huge explosion in background)
I rule all.

[zoel]

Unfortunately, Pluto (Roman for Hell) was also inhabited by Logan's little sister who promptly annoyed Andrew so much that he blew up Pluto in an effort to get rid of her, all the while forgetting he was still on Pluto and thus incurring his own doom.

I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

Fine.
(Ghost) Andrew rules all.

[zoel]

But then one day a bigger, meaner, scarier-looking ghost comes by and makes fun of Andrew's hair.
(ghost) Andrew protests and is immediately socked in the mouth.
Unable to speak, BC is deprived of his ability to drive people insane, thus robbing him of his chief weapon.
In the vaccume of silence, Logan gives a speach on rutabegas and is declared ruler of the universe.

I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

But his audience is SCT...
I rule all.

[zoel]

Human rutabegas?

I RULE ALL.

[HCM Brain Candy]

Human chops and roast tenderloin.
I rule all.

[zoel]

But then John Kerry gets elected and bans guns.
People from the SCT are forced to kill their victims using sporks.
Logan acquires a knife.

I RULE ALL.

[The Radical Communist]

Andrew aquires a chainsaw...
I rule all.

[zoel]

Unfortunately gas prices are so high that Andrew cannot afford to put gas in his chainsaw.
A bunch of tree-hugging hippies see Andrew with the chainsaw and stone him to death.

I RULE ALL.