Post by HCM Brain Candy on Oct 21, 2005 20:35:29 GMT -6
Yup, here it is.
Topic: Adevnture
HCM Ionix
Ionix is trvelling alone on a dark and stormy night. He is
wet and his long, dark hair is drenched. The contents of
his pack must be soaked. His unic and leggings are
wet. His boots are covered in sludge. His gloves are
cold and soggy. His dagger's hilt is slippery. His
money puch is dry, supprisingly. His vest is relatively
dry, also. He stops into a dark, damp hotel and gets a
room for the night for 8 silver pieces. He then goes into
his room, has a flaggon of ale, and falls asleep, not
awaiting dangers of the night.
HCM Brain Candy
Suddenly, with a great crash, the door to Ionix's room is blown open. A pink water-breathing bunny rabbit in a water-tight suit walks through the door's remains wielding two gigantic scimitars. Ionix draws his dagger as the pink water-breathing bunny advances forward...
CM IZOD
Then Ionix gets an idea."The hotel doesn't allow pink bunny rabbits you know.""So?"the pink bunny rabbit said.Then Ionix picks up the phone."Manager,there's a pink bunny rabbit in my room." "Pink bunny rabbit,they're not allowed here,it violates their zoning code.I'll send secrurty up right away!!!!" Then the door was busted open and a guard took an ice gun and froze the water in the pink bunny rabbit's suit.Then he took it and through it out the window.So Ionix got his rest and left the next day.
TheGirl
Ionix starts on his merry way with all the birds in trees singing pleasently. The sun is bright, and the path is relatively straight and well shrubbed. Butterflies float freely in the air.
Then, a dragon steps out of the rock wall up ahead Ionix...
Zoel
The butterflies near the dragon immediately assailed it using all their mighty butterfly strength. Frying the butterflies with his scorching breath, the dragon returned his attention to Ionix.
HCM Brain Candy
Having regained his composure, the dragon bellows loadly and a huge plume of fire races from the dragon's mouth. Ionix deftly leaps aside off the road, spins across the ground, and is up his dagger out and ready. "Oh, sorry about that," the dragon said, "I had to sneeze. I didn't mean to almost roast you." Before Ionix could reply, the dragon began sobbing. Ionix resheathed his dagger and calmly asked why the dragon was crying. "My brother," the dragon sobbed,"has been held captive for two years now. He's being kept in a desolate, remote fortress gaurded by a most fearsome and ravanous princess." Ionix, sympathetic with the dragon, agreed to help him free his brother from the evil princess. Together they strode south, to whatever evil awaited them...
HCM Ionix
Along the way, they meet up with the pink
water-breating bunny. Ionix draws his blade and the
dragon readies his flame. The pink bunny jumps
forward and reveals sharp, pointy teeth. The dragon
blows flame at the buuny, roasting it. Ionix sticks it on
his dagger, and he and the dragon have a wonderful
dinner under the stars that night.
Zoel
After sleeping under the stars, and having nightmares about ETs, Ionix and the dragon awaken the next morning feeling only slightly refreshed. Togather, they set off down the road which they hope will lead them to the stronghold of the evil princess. All about them, spring is in full bloom. Besides the butterflies and flowers and cherry blossoms, they also notice a family of bison. Recalling that Bison kill more people in general then bears, Ionix readies his dagger.
TheGirl
The Bison look lazily over. They notice the meanacing look on Ionix's face. They realize they are in great and terrible danger. (The Dragon is their mortal enemy) Finally the largest Bison is upset, and starts the stampede...
HCM Brain Candy
The wave of bison storms torward our protagonists. Ionix holds his dagger at the ready, but the dragon then unleashes a wave of fire upon the bison. Turning their backs on the crispy critters, Ionix and the dragon begin to walk away when they hear a huge rumbling sound. Over the far hill is... a bison. A bison the size of a large castle. A bison that begins to charge at Ionix and the dragon...
TheGirl
Ionix and the Dragon...Xyia turn their backs and run in the opposite direction. Ionix turns his head and realizes their cowardice. He also then realizes that the large bison was only a neon sign pointing in the direction of the evil princess's castle. Ionix stops Xyia and explains the situation. They turn around and follow where the neon bison points. All is merry and Ionix and Xyia agree to never mention there cowardice again. So they continue on their way...
Zoel
Unfortunately, the large neon sign was actually a trap set up by the evil genius Brain Candy. As part of his evil scheme, he used the large neon bison to lure dragons and the occasional hero into his secret lair. Once there, Brain Candy...
HCM Ionix
But suddenly, on a whim, Ionix throws a bucket of
water unto the sign! Zyia and Ionix are saved from the
nefarious plot!
Swanson
However, after escaping the horrors of the neon sign, there is an explosion of condenced stupidity. As the emence phycological effects ware off of our heros, a small man with purple hair, and a blaze orange dress (with lovely little flowers)and his rabitt(currently pink)suddenly are noticed, as more (oddly enough) than background. Ahh... says the man with the purple hair,sighing with releif. I didn't want to go buy groceries like this anyway. The still recovering hero's hear the little mans words, and still gaze at him stupidly. Oh dear, not again, shit! If there i will ever be able to travel with out causing harm to something or another in someway or anouther, i'll eat fido! "It's not Fido!" the bush exclaimed, and with a small ploop, turned into a shurbery, in a pot, on a wagon. "Fine!" "Be that way!" "I always liked you better as a homely little bush anyway!", Exclaimed the man. Oh, said the man finally coming back to the fact that he wasn't alone, my name is Prak, and who are you? Finally coming back to reality our heros give their names, and stare in wonder at the odd little man. "you don't like me like this do you?". oh well, everyones a bloody critic. Then with the smallest of "nee's" the man grew to a normall height, grew brown hair, and still proudly dawned his orange dress. "Better?" he askedd. oh, yeah, my dress, uh, are you used to men wearing dresses?" he asks. "No" Ionix finally replies. "okay" Says Prak, and with another small "nee" (although perhaps it was more of neu!) he grabs the dress, tears it off, and reveals an lovely green swetter, tan pants, and a lovely pair of loafers. "Better" he asks, but before an answer can be given he states "good, I'm glad you like it". Now, one may believe Prak is just not patient, but that is not the case, he can see far enough into another beings mind to see what they are going to say, do, or think, in the next second or two. So please, don't take him as impatient. With our hero's finally recovered to an I.Q. higher than that of an apple, he gives them each a very small cookie, and tells them that if they eat it, it will render the damage of the "idiocy blast" non-existant. To make a short story unessisarily shorter, he asks them who they are, where they are from, what world this is, and then, with the gift of two more inteligence cookeis, is gone again in a blast of emence stupidity. This concludes this meaningless exerpt in the saga of Ionix.
HCM Ionix
After that delightful yet totally unnecissary part of the
adventure, Xyia and Ionix continue with their adventure.
They are travelling along, when they come upon a
besieged village. The evil People of the Wind are
attacking the small town of Men and the Men were
losing. The heroes rush into the town, only to find that
the Men are retreating to a giant castle in the hills.
"That's not the Castle of the Ravenous Princess," Xyia
claims, "but we shall go anyway, to save those poor
men from the onslaught of the evil Windpeople."
"True," says Ionix, "let's go."
HCM Brain Candy
Ionix and Xyia rush torwards the castle as the the fleeing refugees pour into it. The hero's make it in the doors of the castle with the last of the refugees just as the door is slammed shut. The people become somewhat nervous and anxious when they notice Xyia the dragon running in, but Ionix is quick to resolve the situation. Somewone calls from the lookout tower that the People of Wind are at least only a mile away from the castle and closing. Ionix and Xyia joins the archers on one of the towers as the People of Wind approch.
"Hey, have you two traveled about a lot?" Ionix responded with a yes. "Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Agrajag. You on your tavels haven't by chance met a seemingly mild-mannered man who's looking for me have you?" Ionix gave the man a strange look.
"Really," the man explained, "this guy has a serious vendetta against me! Goes by the name of Arthur-"
At that moment, a temporary, unstable inter-universal vortex appeared above Agrajag's and Ionix's heads, although they had no inkling as to what it was. Suddenly, an anvil appeared from the rip in space and fell to the ground. Ionix leaped aside, but Agrajag was not so lucky. He screamed and the anvil fell square on him. Ionix looked up to see the vortex close, but just before it closed, he saw an apparently mild mannered man look down through the portal with a relieved look on his face. Then it closed for good.
"What was that?" Ionix turned and saw Xyia with his jaw hanging open.
Before anything else could be said, a yell was heard. "HERE THEY COME!!" Ionix and Xyia snapped their heads and saw the People of Wind a mere few hundred feet from the castle...
Swanson
When suddenly, out of a clear sky, right in the middle of the charge of the people of the wind, an explosion of stupidity erupts, stupifying the people of the wind. Then, quite suddenly, it became aparent that a man, with a viceous bunny (yellow this time) had arived, seemingly at the center of the stupidity blast. All the man could thin of to say was, "oh, no, not again, and I don't have enough cookies for all of them Vigu, what should we do? Then the bunny, lept on the shoulder of one of the stupified people of the wind and declaired, "lets go, they'll recover eventually." Finally, the man, recognized by our hero as Prak, asks them, you havn't seen a man with an anvil, have you? Ionix quickly explains the bizzare occurance he just witnessed, and asks Prak how he knew the man. "Where is he now" said Prak, completely ignoring the simple request of Ionix. "I must speak with him, i have his fish bowl, and towel." Ionix finally gives into this mad mans request and tells him that the vortex closed, and that he was on the other side. "oh," Prak says and with a "This place is Stupid!" vanishes into thin air, completely numbing the brains of the People of the Wind. So, it was decided that as it was customary to eat wind people, when ever possible in this strange land, the Men, made a great oven, and baked all of the still stupifed people. When the baking was over and the Men started eating the People of the Wind, Ionix and Zyia decieded that it was most definately time to leave. They maintained well utill a Man, wearing a baked skin suit of one of People of the Wind jumped out from behind a bush, and exclaimed "UP POPED THE DEVIL!!!" At this point our heros lost their lunch. They continued on untill they met a roving band of biker grannies who imediatly encirled and fought Zyia. Regardless of how valiently Ionix tried to save her, and kill all of the grannies with his dager(and many did die) he couldn't save her. The grannies took off her head, and rode into the sunset singing "Another One Bites the Dust!". This obviously left Ionix quite distressed, untill the stump of Zyia's head swelled with a great pustual, which in time burst, showering Ionix in minie, and revealing the new head Zyia possesed. "How did you do that?!" ionix asked. Zyia replied,"Its simple all I need to do is..
TheGirl
Then finally Ionix awakens to find himself at the inn (from the beginning of the story) he realizes he has dreamt the entire occurence! With this, Ionix realizes there is a horde of angry people down at the inn square. Curious to see what's going on Ionix descends his flight of stairs...
HCM Brain Candy
Ionix, utterly confused and bewildered, wanders down to see what was is going on. To his left he sees a large group of people surronding a stage and yelling at whoever was on it. Ionix looked to see who it was and was shocked to find they were... walking pieces of toast... Nearby on the stage an enourmous sign read "Us toast are radioactive and much too soggy and proud of it!!" It was hard to see exactly what the people were angry about, but then one of them said that they should eat the toast. Someone responded that the toast was radioactive. The proposer shouted back that he or no one else hear even knew what radioactive meant. So the man lunged onto the stage and grabbed a nearby toast, ripped a piece of it off, and shoved it into his mouth. The man then lifted his arms in triumph. The crowd surged forward to asail the toast people, but then the man fell to the ground dead. The rest of the crowd at the toast and cheered in triumph as well, and then they too fell to the ground dead.
Ionix would have attempted to do something about these bizzare events, but he found his legs had turned into an extra pair of arms and hands. Needless to say he quickly toppled over.
Then, to his left, Ionix saw a huge muscular green figure in purple shorts approch accompanied by a... pink water breathing bunny rabbit! The rabbit lunged froward with its scimitar and before Ionix could do anything the rabbit cut off his head.
Ionix snapped his eyes open, and for a moment he was deaf. All he could see was vague images of people fighting. He looked up and saw... that rip in space the anvil had come from.
The rip began to close for the last time, but just before that a note slid out and hovered down to Ionix. He picked it up and read: "Dear stranger.
You really should be more careful around 7th degree space-time nadion enforeced vortecies. You can get wierd and unsettling dreams from those.
Sincerly, someone who really doesn't care, but unfortunetly had to due to local ordinance."
Confused and bewildered, Ionix got up to see the people of wind had inveded the castle, and everywhere Men, Wind people, and a (MALE) dragon fought to the death...
HCM Ionix
As the battle rages, Ionix puts his hand to the handle
of his blade, finding he has attained a long sword! He
rushes forth, amid the battling Men, Elves, Wind
people, and Dragons, slashing his way through a few
of them. He reaches the end of the large castle corridor,
when suddenly a dark Mage appears.
"So you have fallen into my trap!" the dark Mage
exclaims. "My name is Archais. The last man you shall
ever see!" And with that, a huge interdimensional
vortex appeared, drawing forth all fighting. Onix holds
on for dear life to a pillar, his sword flying into the
vortex. He then, not able to hold on any longer, is
drawn into the depths inside.
Inside was a shower of saturated universal energy. All
who was hit would explode into little energy particles,
recycling into the surronding inside the vortex, and
coming back as a new wave of energy. Ionix dodges
many of the blasts, finallt being hit by a fireball of
universal energy.
But he is still alive! His clothes singed, wearing nothing
but shredded pants, the energy shower suddenly
stops. He looks around, finding his sword imbedded in
the ground. Drawing it forth, he yells, "Come Here,
Archais!"
Suddenly, he is drawn back to Earth. However, it is
very different. It is just a big, flat, black nothingness. A
distance away, Ionix spots the Mage. Holding his
sword forward, he charges the Mage. The Mage fires a
blast of fire at Ionix, but he jumps aside. \
But as soon as he does, he is hit by an energy flare.
He falls to the ground, his sword landing 6 feet away.
Lying there, hope lost, Onix moans. The Mage walks
towards him.
"So, hero," the Mage laughs. "Your time has come. No
one is left to save you. Time to die!"
He draws his hand in teh air, and the clouds above turn
white. A large sphere of energy gathers in the center,
putting energy into the hand of the Mage. A large
mass of saturated planet energy in his hand, he starts
to throw it.....
Zoel
At that very instant, there was a sudden blinding flash. Distracted for a moment, the Mage looked away. Realizing this might be his only chance, Ionix groped for his sword, a weapon, anything. His hand met with nothing on the cool marble floor of the room. The Mage was not thouroughly distracted, however, and with much more valuble pray then Ionix ever could have been...
Swanson
He turns around to meet the new asailent at his back. Finally he launches his atack, ignoring Ionix to kill this new and far more powerfull asailent. The small man, stands there stupidly as the ball of energy races toward him. With a great roar and splintering of marble the ball hits. In the smoke filled crater the man is revealed to be lying face down, and half buried under the marble. Yet befor the mage can turn to deal with Ionix he hears sees a small white blur out of the corner of his eye. Alas for that image was the mage would ever have, because the killer white bunny quickly ripped off his head. Ionix now heard a thump, an ow, and a small ripping noise follwed by a crunching noise. The thump was the mages head hitting the floor, the ow was the man sumerizeing all of his feelings with being hit with an imence blast of energy and then being buirried under half a ton of marble, and the small tearing noise followed by intermitent crunching was the man opening his package of cheese and peanut butter crackers, and the obvious consumption of them. after dusting him self off, he spoke quickly to the rabit, and with a small noise the rabit became a cardinal, with blood red feathers and flew to the mans shoulder. Uh, hello the man said, Umm... i'm Prak, do you know where we are, because i was hoping for bremuda, i hear its warm there this time of year. Ionix remembering Prak from his dream asks them if they have met. Prak simply replies "Nope." This completely confounded ionix, but he was forced to put the object aside because Prak soon asked him if he wanted company. Ionix replied "Well...
HCM Brain Candy
"- don't just stand there, the communists are coming!"
Ionix suddenly stopped and wondered not why he had said what he had said, but instead wondered why hot dog buns came in packages of eight while hot dogs came in packages of ten. He then wondered not why that thought had came to him at this time, but, more importantly to his health, why he was suddenly strapped to a gullitine...
CM IZOD
Then a glare appeared out in the dark. It was orange. Then it was thrown and cut the rope on the gilliteen. Then a voice spoke and said,"Oh shoot." Then the blade suddenly stopped and turned horizontal and cut the communists head off. "Who are you?" "My name is Nathen. I'm a jedi." he said. So they became friends and went to the vortex. Prak joined them and for some resone the dragon and the race of men were with them. Then they reconized a building the castle ahead of them. It was the evil princesses castle. With all his friends including Nathen and Prak they went in the castle unaware of the dangers ahead.
Topic: Adevnture
HCM Ionix
Ionix is trvelling alone on a dark and stormy night. He is
wet and his long, dark hair is drenched. The contents of
his pack must be soaked. His unic and leggings are
wet. His boots are covered in sludge. His gloves are
cold and soggy. His dagger's hilt is slippery. His
money puch is dry, supprisingly. His vest is relatively
dry, also. He stops into a dark, damp hotel and gets a
room for the night for 8 silver pieces. He then goes into
his room, has a flaggon of ale, and falls asleep, not
awaiting dangers of the night.
HCM Brain Candy
Suddenly, with a great crash, the door to Ionix's room is blown open. A pink water-breathing bunny rabbit in a water-tight suit walks through the door's remains wielding two gigantic scimitars. Ionix draws his dagger as the pink water-breathing bunny advances forward...
CM IZOD
Then Ionix gets an idea."The hotel doesn't allow pink bunny rabbits you know.""So?"the pink bunny rabbit said.Then Ionix picks up the phone."Manager,there's a pink bunny rabbit in my room." "Pink bunny rabbit,they're not allowed here,it violates their zoning code.I'll send secrurty up right away!!!!" Then the door was busted open and a guard took an ice gun and froze the water in the pink bunny rabbit's suit.Then he took it and through it out the window.So Ionix got his rest and left the next day.
TheGirl
Ionix starts on his merry way with all the birds in trees singing pleasently. The sun is bright, and the path is relatively straight and well shrubbed. Butterflies float freely in the air.
Then, a dragon steps out of the rock wall up ahead Ionix...
Zoel
The butterflies near the dragon immediately assailed it using all their mighty butterfly strength. Frying the butterflies with his scorching breath, the dragon returned his attention to Ionix.
HCM Brain Candy
Having regained his composure, the dragon bellows loadly and a huge plume of fire races from the dragon's mouth. Ionix deftly leaps aside off the road, spins across the ground, and is up his dagger out and ready. "Oh, sorry about that," the dragon said, "I had to sneeze. I didn't mean to almost roast you." Before Ionix could reply, the dragon began sobbing. Ionix resheathed his dagger and calmly asked why the dragon was crying. "My brother," the dragon sobbed,"has been held captive for two years now. He's being kept in a desolate, remote fortress gaurded by a most fearsome and ravanous princess." Ionix, sympathetic with the dragon, agreed to help him free his brother from the evil princess. Together they strode south, to whatever evil awaited them...
HCM Ionix
Along the way, they meet up with the pink
water-breating bunny. Ionix draws his blade and the
dragon readies his flame. The pink bunny jumps
forward and reveals sharp, pointy teeth. The dragon
blows flame at the buuny, roasting it. Ionix sticks it on
his dagger, and he and the dragon have a wonderful
dinner under the stars that night.
Zoel
After sleeping under the stars, and having nightmares about ETs, Ionix and the dragon awaken the next morning feeling only slightly refreshed. Togather, they set off down the road which they hope will lead them to the stronghold of the evil princess. All about them, spring is in full bloom. Besides the butterflies and flowers and cherry blossoms, they also notice a family of bison. Recalling that Bison kill more people in general then bears, Ionix readies his dagger.
TheGirl
The Bison look lazily over. They notice the meanacing look on Ionix's face. They realize they are in great and terrible danger. (The Dragon is their mortal enemy) Finally the largest Bison is upset, and starts the stampede...
HCM Brain Candy
The wave of bison storms torward our protagonists. Ionix holds his dagger at the ready, but the dragon then unleashes a wave of fire upon the bison. Turning their backs on the crispy critters, Ionix and the dragon begin to walk away when they hear a huge rumbling sound. Over the far hill is... a bison. A bison the size of a large castle. A bison that begins to charge at Ionix and the dragon...
TheGirl
Ionix and the Dragon...Xyia turn their backs and run in the opposite direction. Ionix turns his head and realizes their cowardice. He also then realizes that the large bison was only a neon sign pointing in the direction of the evil princess's castle. Ionix stops Xyia and explains the situation. They turn around and follow where the neon bison points. All is merry and Ionix and Xyia agree to never mention there cowardice again. So they continue on their way...
Zoel
Unfortunately, the large neon sign was actually a trap set up by the evil genius Brain Candy. As part of his evil scheme, he used the large neon bison to lure dragons and the occasional hero into his secret lair. Once there, Brain Candy...
HCM Ionix
But suddenly, on a whim, Ionix throws a bucket of
water unto the sign! Zyia and Ionix are saved from the
nefarious plot!
Swanson
However, after escaping the horrors of the neon sign, there is an explosion of condenced stupidity. As the emence phycological effects ware off of our heros, a small man with purple hair, and a blaze orange dress (with lovely little flowers)and his rabitt(currently pink)suddenly are noticed, as more (oddly enough) than background. Ahh... says the man with the purple hair,sighing with releif. I didn't want to go buy groceries like this anyway. The still recovering hero's hear the little mans words, and still gaze at him stupidly. Oh dear, not again, shit! If there i will ever be able to travel with out causing harm to something or another in someway or anouther, i'll eat fido! "It's not Fido!" the bush exclaimed, and with a small ploop, turned into a shurbery, in a pot, on a wagon. "Fine!" "Be that way!" "I always liked you better as a homely little bush anyway!", Exclaimed the man. Oh, said the man finally coming back to the fact that he wasn't alone, my name is Prak, and who are you? Finally coming back to reality our heros give their names, and stare in wonder at the odd little man. "you don't like me like this do you?". oh well, everyones a bloody critic. Then with the smallest of "nee's" the man grew to a normall height, grew brown hair, and still proudly dawned his orange dress. "Better?" he askedd. oh, yeah, my dress, uh, are you used to men wearing dresses?" he asks. "No" Ionix finally replies. "okay" Says Prak, and with another small "nee" (although perhaps it was more of neu!) he grabs the dress, tears it off, and reveals an lovely green swetter, tan pants, and a lovely pair of loafers. "Better" he asks, but before an answer can be given he states "good, I'm glad you like it". Now, one may believe Prak is just not patient, but that is not the case, he can see far enough into another beings mind to see what they are going to say, do, or think, in the next second or two. So please, don't take him as impatient. With our hero's finally recovered to an I.Q. higher than that of an apple, he gives them each a very small cookie, and tells them that if they eat it, it will render the damage of the "idiocy blast" non-existant. To make a short story unessisarily shorter, he asks them who they are, where they are from, what world this is, and then, with the gift of two more inteligence cookeis, is gone again in a blast of emence stupidity. This concludes this meaningless exerpt in the saga of Ionix.
HCM Ionix
After that delightful yet totally unnecissary part of the
adventure, Xyia and Ionix continue with their adventure.
They are travelling along, when they come upon a
besieged village. The evil People of the Wind are
attacking the small town of Men and the Men were
losing. The heroes rush into the town, only to find that
the Men are retreating to a giant castle in the hills.
"That's not the Castle of the Ravenous Princess," Xyia
claims, "but we shall go anyway, to save those poor
men from the onslaught of the evil Windpeople."
"True," says Ionix, "let's go."
HCM Brain Candy
Ionix and Xyia rush torwards the castle as the the fleeing refugees pour into it. The hero's make it in the doors of the castle with the last of the refugees just as the door is slammed shut. The people become somewhat nervous and anxious when they notice Xyia the dragon running in, but Ionix is quick to resolve the situation. Somewone calls from the lookout tower that the People of Wind are at least only a mile away from the castle and closing. Ionix and Xyia joins the archers on one of the towers as the People of Wind approch.
"Hey, have you two traveled about a lot?" Ionix responded with a yes. "Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Agrajag. You on your tavels haven't by chance met a seemingly mild-mannered man who's looking for me have you?" Ionix gave the man a strange look.
"Really," the man explained, "this guy has a serious vendetta against me! Goes by the name of Arthur-"
At that moment, a temporary, unstable inter-universal vortex appeared above Agrajag's and Ionix's heads, although they had no inkling as to what it was. Suddenly, an anvil appeared from the rip in space and fell to the ground. Ionix leaped aside, but Agrajag was not so lucky. He screamed and the anvil fell square on him. Ionix looked up to see the vortex close, but just before it closed, he saw an apparently mild mannered man look down through the portal with a relieved look on his face. Then it closed for good.
"What was that?" Ionix turned and saw Xyia with his jaw hanging open.
Before anything else could be said, a yell was heard. "HERE THEY COME!!" Ionix and Xyia snapped their heads and saw the People of Wind a mere few hundred feet from the castle...
Swanson
When suddenly, out of a clear sky, right in the middle of the charge of the people of the wind, an explosion of stupidity erupts, stupifying the people of the wind. Then, quite suddenly, it became aparent that a man, with a viceous bunny (yellow this time) had arived, seemingly at the center of the stupidity blast. All the man could thin of to say was, "oh, no, not again, and I don't have enough cookies for all of them Vigu, what should we do? Then the bunny, lept on the shoulder of one of the stupified people of the wind and declaired, "lets go, they'll recover eventually." Finally, the man, recognized by our hero as Prak, asks them, you havn't seen a man with an anvil, have you? Ionix quickly explains the bizzare occurance he just witnessed, and asks Prak how he knew the man. "Where is he now" said Prak, completely ignoring the simple request of Ionix. "I must speak with him, i have his fish bowl, and towel." Ionix finally gives into this mad mans request and tells him that the vortex closed, and that he was on the other side. "oh," Prak says and with a "This place is Stupid!" vanishes into thin air, completely numbing the brains of the People of the Wind. So, it was decided that as it was customary to eat wind people, when ever possible in this strange land, the Men, made a great oven, and baked all of the still stupifed people. When the baking was over and the Men started eating the People of the Wind, Ionix and Zyia decieded that it was most definately time to leave. They maintained well utill a Man, wearing a baked skin suit of one of People of the Wind jumped out from behind a bush, and exclaimed "UP POPED THE DEVIL!!!" At this point our heros lost their lunch. They continued on untill they met a roving band of biker grannies who imediatly encirled and fought Zyia. Regardless of how valiently Ionix tried to save her, and kill all of the grannies with his dager(and many did die) he couldn't save her. The grannies took off her head, and rode into the sunset singing "Another One Bites the Dust!". This obviously left Ionix quite distressed, untill the stump of Zyia's head swelled with a great pustual, which in time burst, showering Ionix in minie, and revealing the new head Zyia possesed. "How did you do that?!" ionix asked. Zyia replied,"Its simple all I need to do is..
TheGirl
Then finally Ionix awakens to find himself at the inn (from the beginning of the story) he realizes he has dreamt the entire occurence! With this, Ionix realizes there is a horde of angry people down at the inn square. Curious to see what's going on Ionix descends his flight of stairs...
HCM Brain Candy
Ionix, utterly confused and bewildered, wanders down to see what was is going on. To his left he sees a large group of people surronding a stage and yelling at whoever was on it. Ionix looked to see who it was and was shocked to find they were... walking pieces of toast... Nearby on the stage an enourmous sign read "Us toast are radioactive and much too soggy and proud of it!!" It was hard to see exactly what the people were angry about, but then one of them said that they should eat the toast. Someone responded that the toast was radioactive. The proposer shouted back that he or no one else hear even knew what radioactive meant. So the man lunged onto the stage and grabbed a nearby toast, ripped a piece of it off, and shoved it into his mouth. The man then lifted his arms in triumph. The crowd surged forward to asail the toast people, but then the man fell to the ground dead. The rest of the crowd at the toast and cheered in triumph as well, and then they too fell to the ground dead.
Ionix would have attempted to do something about these bizzare events, but he found his legs had turned into an extra pair of arms and hands. Needless to say he quickly toppled over.
Then, to his left, Ionix saw a huge muscular green figure in purple shorts approch accompanied by a... pink water breathing bunny rabbit! The rabbit lunged froward with its scimitar and before Ionix could do anything the rabbit cut off his head.
Ionix snapped his eyes open, and for a moment he was deaf. All he could see was vague images of people fighting. He looked up and saw... that rip in space the anvil had come from.
The rip began to close for the last time, but just before that a note slid out and hovered down to Ionix. He picked it up and read: "Dear stranger.
You really should be more careful around 7th degree space-time nadion enforeced vortecies. You can get wierd and unsettling dreams from those.
Sincerly, someone who really doesn't care, but unfortunetly had to due to local ordinance."
Confused and bewildered, Ionix got up to see the people of wind had inveded the castle, and everywhere Men, Wind people, and a (MALE) dragon fought to the death...
HCM Ionix
As the battle rages, Ionix puts his hand to the handle
of his blade, finding he has attained a long sword! He
rushes forth, amid the battling Men, Elves, Wind
people, and Dragons, slashing his way through a few
of them. He reaches the end of the large castle corridor,
when suddenly a dark Mage appears.
"So you have fallen into my trap!" the dark Mage
exclaims. "My name is Archais. The last man you shall
ever see!" And with that, a huge interdimensional
vortex appeared, drawing forth all fighting. Onix holds
on for dear life to a pillar, his sword flying into the
vortex. He then, not able to hold on any longer, is
drawn into the depths inside.
Inside was a shower of saturated universal energy. All
who was hit would explode into little energy particles,
recycling into the surronding inside the vortex, and
coming back as a new wave of energy. Ionix dodges
many of the blasts, finallt being hit by a fireball of
universal energy.
But he is still alive! His clothes singed, wearing nothing
but shredded pants, the energy shower suddenly
stops. He looks around, finding his sword imbedded in
the ground. Drawing it forth, he yells, "Come Here,
Archais!"
Suddenly, he is drawn back to Earth. However, it is
very different. It is just a big, flat, black nothingness. A
distance away, Ionix spots the Mage. Holding his
sword forward, he charges the Mage. The Mage fires a
blast of fire at Ionix, but he jumps aside. \
But as soon as he does, he is hit by an energy flare.
He falls to the ground, his sword landing 6 feet away.
Lying there, hope lost, Onix moans. The Mage walks
towards him.
"So, hero," the Mage laughs. "Your time has come. No
one is left to save you. Time to die!"
He draws his hand in teh air, and the clouds above turn
white. A large sphere of energy gathers in the center,
putting energy into the hand of the Mage. A large
mass of saturated planet energy in his hand, he starts
to throw it.....
Zoel
At that very instant, there was a sudden blinding flash. Distracted for a moment, the Mage looked away. Realizing this might be his only chance, Ionix groped for his sword, a weapon, anything. His hand met with nothing on the cool marble floor of the room. The Mage was not thouroughly distracted, however, and with much more valuble pray then Ionix ever could have been...
Swanson
He turns around to meet the new asailent at his back. Finally he launches his atack, ignoring Ionix to kill this new and far more powerfull asailent. The small man, stands there stupidly as the ball of energy races toward him. With a great roar and splintering of marble the ball hits. In the smoke filled crater the man is revealed to be lying face down, and half buried under the marble. Yet befor the mage can turn to deal with Ionix he hears sees a small white blur out of the corner of his eye. Alas for that image was the mage would ever have, because the killer white bunny quickly ripped off his head. Ionix now heard a thump, an ow, and a small ripping noise follwed by a crunching noise. The thump was the mages head hitting the floor, the ow was the man sumerizeing all of his feelings with being hit with an imence blast of energy and then being buirried under half a ton of marble, and the small tearing noise followed by intermitent crunching was the man opening his package of cheese and peanut butter crackers, and the obvious consumption of them. after dusting him self off, he spoke quickly to the rabit, and with a small noise the rabit became a cardinal, with blood red feathers and flew to the mans shoulder. Uh, hello the man said, Umm... i'm Prak, do you know where we are, because i was hoping for bremuda, i hear its warm there this time of year. Ionix remembering Prak from his dream asks them if they have met. Prak simply replies "Nope." This completely confounded ionix, but he was forced to put the object aside because Prak soon asked him if he wanted company. Ionix replied "Well...
HCM Brain Candy
"- don't just stand there, the communists are coming!"
Ionix suddenly stopped and wondered not why he had said what he had said, but instead wondered why hot dog buns came in packages of eight while hot dogs came in packages of ten. He then wondered not why that thought had came to him at this time, but, more importantly to his health, why he was suddenly strapped to a gullitine...
CM IZOD
Then a glare appeared out in the dark. It was orange. Then it was thrown and cut the rope on the gilliteen. Then a voice spoke and said,"Oh shoot." Then the blade suddenly stopped and turned horizontal and cut the communists head off. "Who are you?" "My name is Nathen. I'm a jedi." he said. So they became friends and went to the vortex. Prak joined them and for some resone the dragon and the race of men were with them. Then they reconized a building the castle ahead of them. It was the evil princesses castle. With all his friends including Nathen and Prak they went in the castle unaware of the dangers ahead.
