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Post by zoel on Dec 2, 2005 15:24:31 GMT -6
unfortunatley, global warming immediately led to a second ice-age so everyone froze to death except for...
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Post by The Radical Communist on Dec 3, 2005 18:10:24 GMT -6
Matthias.
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Post by zoel on Dec 5, 2005 18:23:40 GMT -6
Who was much too in love with himself to freeze to death. Of course he didn't mind that everyone else died, because it meant he got to spend more time alone with his favorite person until one day his solituded was interrupted by the appearance of...
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HCM Brain Candy
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The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 7, 2005 18:27:51 GMT -6
Alfred Hitchcook.
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Post by zoel on Dec 8, 2005 20:07:43 GMT -6
A few seconds later, Matthias was torn into a thousand bloody pieces by a swarm of angry birds....
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HCM Brain Candy
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The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 12, 2005 9:33:53 GMT -6
And so the story was again left characterless, but Alfred Hitchcook was still there. Old Al decided that what the story needed more than anything else to revitalize it was...
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Post by zoel on Dec 12, 2005 19:08:35 GMT -6
a troup of yodeling nigerians...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 12, 2005 21:02:04 GMT -6
and 7894...
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Post by zoel on Dec 13, 2005 13:29:02 GMT -6
platapuses...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 13, 2005 16:15:00 GMT -6
Who wanted to eat...
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Post by zoel on Dec 13, 2005 16:28:36 GMT -6
placentas. Of course platypuses don't have placenta since they are born from eggs so they had to...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 16, 2005 21:13:29 GMT -6
raid the nearest...
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Post by zoel on Dec 17, 2005 18:41:09 GMT -6
pterydactyl nest...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 18, 2005 20:46:06 GMT -6
But of course they had to get through the velociraptors and T-Rexs first. Seeing as how this was Jurrasic Park IV, it was decided that this time the dinosaurs would...
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Post by zoel on Dec 18, 2005 22:42:13 GMT -6
be vastly more intelligent than the humans. This naturally resulted in...
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 19, 2005 12:02:36 GMT -6
A reverse...
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Post by zoel on Dec 19, 2005 16:04:56 GMT -6
...al of the natural order of just about everything. Izod suddenly became extraordinarly smart, Andrew became a liberal, and Jessica Yonkkee decided that patriarchy was actually a good thing.
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 19, 2005 22:53:18 GMT -6
The latter especially became a source of conternation as...
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Post by zoel on Dec 21, 2005 14:36:02 GMT -6
Jessica went out on a rampage to destroy JerOD who was now a bleeding heart liberal...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 21, 2005 16:01:15 GMT -6
JerOD turned around and Jessica and screamed...
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Post by zoel on Dec 21, 2005 21:57:26 GMT -6
"I think Bill Clinton was a great president! Democrats make love not war!"
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 22, 2005 19:36:56 GMT -6
The universe promptly exploded in a giganitic plume of meatballs.
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I AM THE IZOD!!
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Dec 22, 2005 22:44:20 GMT -6
Then the (new) editor realized that that last reply happened because he had spilt spagette sauce and meatballs on the script and promptly called THE CLEAN FREAKS...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
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This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Dec 22, 2005 23:21:15 GMT -6
Yes, the Clean Freaks. That band of really obsessive compulsive people.
Example: "Blimy!! A spec of dust has infutrated our base!!! Self-destruct sequence!!!" (Comment:The base is powered by a matter-Antimatter reaction. Thus...)BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
These brave souls carry the latest in high-military grade explosives. If your garden is filled with pollen, they'll solve your problem for good. All they need is 4 packs of C-4 and your problem for good. If you have Cat-dander, they'll solve that problem to. All they need is a string ball surrounding a canister of Nitro-Glycerin. Your house filled with dirty laundry, no problem. All they need is a standard issue Cruise Missile and that problem is gone for good.
And you ask how much this will cost you? Well, it's cheap. You want specifics? Oh boy, you've never imagined that this wonderful service could be bought at such an affordable price! Just pick up the phone and call: 1-800-968-7825, or 1-800-YOU-SUCK *Clean Freaks is not liable for any damages that may occur to property or persons; clients are to work this out at their own expense. *Usual dust rates are reduced by an average of 30%.
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Post by zoel on Dec 26, 2005 22:58:03 GMT -6
The clean freaks, however, are discovered to be secretly working with the KKK to seek out and destroy anyone who uses Marthreca Hair Gel....
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 28, 2005 10:48:42 GMT -6
In a certain "other" area of the body...
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Post by zoel on Dec 28, 2005 23:15:05 GMT -6
which was probably a good thing since the only people who used Marthreca Hair gel on that part of themselves were freaks and Stephen, well, just freaks I guess. Unfortunately, the KKK couldn't kill Stephen because he just ate the nuclear weapon they launched at him.....
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HCM Brain Candy
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Dec 30, 2005 11:28:23 GMT -6
And so the Clean Freak-KKK alliance met together to discuss how they would destroy Stephen. After much deliberation, they decided that the best way to accomplish this was to fling potatos at him...
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Post by zoel on Jan 5, 2006 17:19:40 GMT -6
but as Douglas Adams once said, "It's wrong to think you can solve any major problem with just potatoes."
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I AM THE IZOD!!
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This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Jan 5, 2006 19:34:16 GMT -6
...and, "A towel is the most useful tool in the Universe."
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