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Post by zoel on Feb 16, 2007 22:15:50 GMT -6
appeared out of a purple hole in the middle of the galactic senate
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Feb 20, 2007 13:04:57 GMT -6
But then Hilary started hogging them all to herself and wouldn't let Yoda have any...
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Post by zoel on Feb 20, 2007 20:02:33 GMT -6
At which point Yoda was so irritated that he shouted out: "You can either have the presidency or the figs, but not both!"
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 8, 2007 0:28:13 GMT -6
At which point Hilary started crying and attracting attention and told all the concerned people that started gathering around that Yoda was sexually harrasing her...
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Post by zoel on Mar 8, 2007 7:04:26 GMT -6
and so Yoda was about to be sentanced to three-thousand years of hard labor for touching Hillary Clinton's nose, when he escaped to...
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Post by Cellery on Mar 11, 2007 19:17:59 GMT -6
Swahili.
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 11, 2007 21:12:43 GMT -6
At which point a member of the audience raised their hand and asked if they could thusly go to English, prompting another to ask if she could go to the language of Klingon...
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Post by zoel on Mar 18, 2007 11:43:16 GMT -6
to both questions Hillary replied with a firm "No!" stating that from this day forth all of the people would be required to speak gibberish, upon penalty of death. "But I don't know how to speak gibberish!" someone protested and was promptly executed.
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Mar 19, 2007 18:56:17 GMT -6
It was then that everyone realized that the president was violating her own law, so she was promptly impeached and burned at the steak. At this point the position of president was left to...
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Post by zoel on Mar 19, 2007 19:32:45 GMT -6
Barak Obama, who was immediately mistaken for Iraq Osama and also burned at the stake, causing the presidency to be passed on to..
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HCM Brain Candy
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Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 20, 2007 21:56:37 GMT -6
Richard Simmons.
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Post by zoel on Mar 21, 2007 16:21:10 GMT -6
who was also simulaniously declared pope
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Post by The Radical Communist on Mar 21, 2007 21:32:53 GMT -6
And so everyone is encouraged to work out with Richard!
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Post by zoel on Mar 22, 2007 14:01:55 GMT -6
also, having to see him on tv every day made all of the fat people in the world so violently ill that they couldn't eat anymore and so they all became skinny...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 22, 2007 18:17:04 GMT -6
And so the reign of skininess had began and it's all encompasing reign continued until a man with a mustache who just happened to be German decided that Richard Simmons wasn't going far enough and that healthy lifestyle needed to be spread in a more "fascist" manner...
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Post by zoel on Mar 23, 2007 12:51:56 GMT -6
And so the rise of the diet nazies was marked throughout the world by the cries of "ein reich, ein volk, ein nutrition!"
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HCM Brain Candy
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Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Mar 30, 2007 15:19:33 GMT -6
But then they of course had to declare war against the... um, diet communists...
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Post by zoel on Mar 31, 2007 8:02:08 GMT -6
And what was more, the Nazis had the brilliant idea to attack Russia during the winter when all of the communists were hiding in their rooms so that they were too cold to fight back. Unfortunately, the Nazies forgot that they too would get cold and didn't even equip their soldiers with a decent pair of gloves, much less a full-length coat...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Apr 4, 2007 10:53:23 GMT -6
Thus a dilema presented itself. The Nazis were too cold to move, much less attack, and the Russians were all hiding in the homes. With no foreseable fighting in the future, the question was," Who ate the cheesecake?"
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Post by zoel on Apr 4, 2007 13:59:11 GMT -6
The answer, of course, was that the no one ate the cheesecake but that it had in fact spontaniously transmorgified into a bust of the late president Regan due to the fact that cheesecake is one of the few things not in the EVERYTHING.
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HCM Brain Candy
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Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Apr 9, 2007 21:03:14 GMT -6
Everyone stood around quietly contemplating this profound fact of reality when a group of roudy sixth graders took the bust and threw it at a cave troll...
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Post by zoel on Apr 10, 2007 8:53:51 GMT -6
The cave troll attempted to eat the bust but it transmorgified into a hive of killer bees in its stomach. Needless to say, the cave troll was in a great deal of pain and proceeded to...
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HCM Brain Candy
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Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
Posts: 4,008
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on Apr 21, 2007 10:21:01 GMT -6
Call the Psychic Hotline for help...
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Post by zoel on Apr 21, 2007 11:39:17 GMT -6
"You are about to die," the lady on the other end of the telephone said calmly and then hung up the phone. Suddenly, an asteroid fell out of the sky and crushed the troll...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Apr 23, 2007 21:04:43 GMT -6
The hobbit sized 6th graders were thus left standing, wondering what the heck was going on, when they were assaulted by Gollum.
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Post by zoel on Apr 25, 2007 22:47:11 GMT -6
who bit off of their fingers and started shouting something about his "precious"
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on May 1, 2007 17:32:15 GMT -6
All was about to be lost when suddenly Ralph Nader appeared and...
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Post by zoel on May 2, 2007 13:06:35 GMT -6
ran for president...
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HCM Brain Candy
High Cleve Person
Supreme Overlord of TPWLP
The problem with the universe is you.
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Post by HCM Brain Candy on May 7, 2007 13:30:46 GMT -6
Having then recieved less than 1% of the vote for the umpteenth year in a row, Ralph finally got fed up and decided to...
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Post by zoel on May 7, 2007 19:42:04 GMT -6
abandon the democratic method and declare the US his own private dictatorship instead...
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