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Post by The Admin on Dec 11, 2003 11:15:43 GMT -6
The cabin belongs to a rather innocent seeming fellow named Wordna. Wordna, however is soon found by Ionix to be communicating with the evil, mindless hoards.
Angry, Ionix confronts Wordna!
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 12, 2003 7:45:46 GMT -6
Ionix marches up to the cabin by the lake, weapons bristleing and clinking all around his body. 17 years of mercenary work had given him this, but it had not softened his perceptions of right and wrong. He intended to kill Wordna for helping the fiends that kept slowly but steadily making their way north.
Ionix walked up and knocked down the door with one swift kick. Ionix walked inside, and he saw something move...
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Post by The Admin on Dec 14, 2003 15:11:33 GMT -6
the thing, whatever it was, was definately rather distrubing. For a moment Ionix imagined it was a giant slug, but after a moment realized it was far too ugly to be one. It flopped about on the floor for a moment longer.
Then the thing noticed Ionix. It turned and stared at him. He was reasonably surprised to realize it even had eyes.
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 15, 2003 19:03:43 GMT -6
Then the thing folded itself inside out...
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Post by MOHC TheGirl on Dec 16, 2003 19:56:47 GMT -6
Ionix, feeling the worst was over, turned his foolish back on the creature...  |
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Post by The Admin on Dec 17, 2003 12:58:31 GMT -6
Clearly, that was a bad idea.
Immediately, the creature which had been in the process of reversing itself once more sprang on Ionix. He grabbed for his sword, but alas the creature already had one miniy [whatever slugs have] on it. Ionix wrestled with the creature, desperately trying to either get free, or at least draw his sword...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 17, 2003 13:09:46 GMT -6
Ionix, feeling his sword slip from his fingers, reaches into his pocket and grabs a...
whoppie cushion...
Shruging, Ionix slips it under the blob's path, where it runs over it and makes the cushion let out a huge farting sound.
The blob suddenly stops, and blushes, well... as much as a blob can blush. "Sorry about that, I..."
The blob becomes red all over and rushes out of the cabin, absolutly embarresed that it farted, even though it has no idea how...
Ionix picks up his sword and resheaths it, and then is greeted by a soft "hi".
Ionix spins around and is confronted by a huge blob...
Ionix then looks up and realizes it's only the belly of a great big man
"I. am. Wordna..."
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Post by The blob of satan on Dec 17, 2003 14:04:48 GMT -6
Then, for no reason at all, the man suddenly bursts into flames. He shreiked and fell the ground in smelly burning, puddle, leaving only a burnt smell of hair in his waste
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 17, 2003 14:10:27 GMT -6
Ionix plugs his nose from the stench of burning fat all across the room. He then sees a small file. He runs over and grabs it. On the cover it reads "secret communications with mindless hoards that I had so they could take over the world!"
Angry, Ionix throws the file into the burning fat and then realizes he didn't look what it said.
Ionix screams at himself, and...
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Post by ionix on Dec 17, 2003 14:11:01 GMT -6
Hello. I am. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
AA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i shall throw up....
and the saturated energy freely cycles over and over, destoying everything/.
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Post by the blob of satan on Dec 17, 2003 14:13:13 GMT -6
Jumps in after the file, he retrieved the file, only to find that the noxious gas had was disolving his, well, it took off a very intimate apendage..., "NO" Ionix screamed and then...
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Post by The Admin on Dec 18, 2003 17:21:30 GMT -6
realized his file was also being corrupted by the noxious gas. Mourning the loss of his very intimate appendage, Ionix decided to move on with life and get away from the very noxious gas before it dissolved various parts of his body that came into more frequent use...
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Post by ionix on Dec 19, 2003 10:44:21 GMT -6
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Post by The Admin on Dec 19, 2003 18:47:08 GMT -6
[message to (real) Ionix]
Please don't be so very upset at the things that happen to (fictional) Ionix. Please remember that he isn't real, nor are any of his appendages, no matter how intimate. As a result, to take offense at their loss is somewhat silly. If it really bothers you, he is fictional after all and can probably re-grow it. That, or you could point out it was actually just part of Prak's very sick dream.
[/message to (real) Ionix]
Determined to save the world, Ionix rushed off to the nearest village full of innocent pesants and vowed to tell them of what he had found....
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 20, 2003 13:08:49 GMT -6
On his way, he sees the castle of the (former) ravounous princess. Exausted for the night, Ionix heads torward it to check up on things and to see if he can spend the night there...
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Post by The Admin on Dec 20, 2003 21:38:24 GMT -6
upon reaching the castle, Ionix was rather upset to discover that it was no longer in the posession of the ravenous princess. Rather, the IRS had claimed it on the premis of unpaid taxes. The princess tried to explain that she was a princess and didn't have to pay taxes. Then she tried to eat the men from the IRS. Both approaches failed.
Disappointed that he wasn't going to have anywhere to sleep for a night, Ionix curled himself up in a ball and fell asleep on a rather uncomfortable tree-root.
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 21, 2003 18:15:21 GMT -6
Suddenly in the middle of the night, Ionix heard a rustling in the bushes. He sprang up and looked around. He saw no one. Then he heard it again, to his left. He immediatly set off to its source.
Ionix then emerged into a clearing. What he saw astounded him. There before him was a rather large bonfire. And around it were none other than the ravonous princess, Xyia's brother, whom Ionix still didn't know his name, and, last but not least, Xyia himself. Xyia had seemed to have grown tremendously in the past 17 years, as he now stood well over 30 feet tall.
As Ionix walked into the clearing, he was immediatly greeted by the trio, with joy and happieness.
After the short celebration, Ionix asked them why they were here. He was told of the IRS's appropriation of the castle, and how they just marched into there and stole the deed from its pedestal in the castle, and how all was darkened. The princess began to weep, and whe told of a man, Trasosh, who lead the legion of the IRS.
Ionix stopped everything and grabbed for the file he obtained from Wordna.
He then shared with them its information that Trasosh, a great leader of the IRS, was also one who was behind the evil mindless hoards that had been marading the south.
At this the four became deadly quiet, and in Xyia especially his anger was apparent. He stood and let out an enourmous roar and a plume of fire that could be seen for miles. With this, Ionix stood and declared that they should slay Trasosh and reobtain the deed to the castle.
And then the four swore a most terrible oath. That they would never stop or rest until Trasosh was slain and they reobtain the deed, and that no man, beast, wizard, elf, king, Valar, oranutan, or breakfast cereal should hold the deed or they should die, save these four. And with this oath they bound their souls to it, and they would never be able to escape it....
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person 
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Dec 21, 2003 19:21:10 GMT -6
The next day Ionix, with the others went to the village. Then when the group reached the village a sword came out and aimed for Ionix's neck. "Ionix?" The sword was withdrawn. Then a man appeared. "I'm Aragon. 17 years have past since I saw you last. It was when you went into the castle that you took so long that we built this town and have been here ever since." Aragon said."I need to see your leader." Ionix said. Aragon nodded. So Aragon took him to the meeting building. When they got there Ionix showed them the paper. "I think we should follow you wherever you go." the leader said. So they agreed to work together. Again. So they left to the south.
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Post by Swanson on Dec 21, 2003 19:28:33 GMT -6
Bill Cosby however, greets Ionix at the door. He immediately grabs Ioix and atempts to give him his puddin' pop, but soon realizes the state ionix is in, and cieses his disturbing puddin' pop activities. He stops and thinks, and finally says, Ioix, you are worthy, I charge you with the quest of distorying the "Lord of the Bling". It is a task only you can preform, and since it is such an imporotant thing, and our budgets have runn dry, I will give you a companion, however, as stated before the fiscal restrants make it nessasary for me to give you my plastic blow up doll, sammy, uhh, I mean, samantha. Thus, Ionix, Samantha, and remneants of a very precious appendage, were decreed the fellow ship of the Bling, and make thier way towards the cracks of doom, in plumbing world Where they...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 21, 2003 21:31:43 GMT -6
Would have to destroy the Lord of the Bling by erecting tall black pilers and playing a music from them, a forbbiden form of music that was cursed as it was found to promote inbreeding to all who listened to too much of it. It spoke of strange things called "pickup trucks" and how they would always break down or something along those lines. If that wouldn't destroy the Lord of the Bling then, well, they'd have to improvise. And get phyciatric help (if you could call it "help") to keep themselves from inbreeding.
And so, Ionix, the blow up doll Samantha, the ravounous princess, er... Bart, Xyia's brother, Galbruk, Xyia, and the army of 400 men banded together to head south to slay Trasosh, reclaim the deed to the castle, and destroy the Lord of the Bling.
They had traveled for two days when they saw smoke rising in the distance. They quicked their pace until they saw in a valley a village burning...
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Post by The Admin on Dec 22, 2003 12:02:07 GMT -6
Ionix promptly started cheering. The village, you see, was that of his in-laws. Ionix wasn't sure when exactly he had gotten married, but he remembered finding his in-laws very annoying. Therefore, when he saw them coming out of the burning village alive, he was very distressed...
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 22, 2003 17:18:14 GMT -6
However, the in-laws were not the same. Their eyes were dull, almost as if they were sleeping. And they walked croked and swayed from side to side. When the saw Ionix and his host, the in-laws attacked!
It was then that Ionix realized that they had become part of the mindless hoards. Ionix grinned a naughty grin, as this was a perfect excuse as any.
They piled the bodies and burned them, and then descended into the village; after all, there were other, decent people here beside Ionix's (now late) in-laws, people that by all acounts needed help and hadn't marred the world with their very existance.
The group spread out to search for survivors, and while looking, Bart heard a moaning from under some nearby ruble...
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Dec 22, 2003 20:33:42 GMT -6
"Guys, there's someone in the rubble." They all gathered and started lifting the rubble. Then they picked the person up and took him to the camp the men set up. The next morning the man woke up. Ionix was at the side of the bed. "My name is Juron. I am a mersinary. I was walking along when I smelt smoke over the hill and went to investigate. When I saw the village burning I ran to help the villagers escape when mindless hoards attacked me and injured me." Ionix desided he could trust him and showed him the paper he recovered from Werdna. Juron agreed to help the team. The next day Aragon sounded the alarm. He had spotted mindless hoards coming. Everyone gathered their belongings and got away as fast as they could.
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I AM THE IZOD!!
High Cleve Person
This is what happens when I eat too many baked beans.
Posts: 513
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Post by I AM THE IZOD!! on Dec 22, 2003 20:34:10 GMT -6
"Guys, there's someone in the rubble." They all gathered and started lifting the rubble. Then they picked the person up and took him to the camp the men set up. The next morning the man woke up. Ionix was at the side of the bed. "My name is Juron. I am a mersinary. I was walking along when I smelt smoke over the hill and went to investigate. When I saw the village burning I ran to help the villagers escape when mindless hoards attacked me and injured me." Ionix desided he could trust him and showed him the paper he recovered from Werdna. Juron agreed to help the team. The next day Aragon sounded the alarm. He had spotted mindless hoards coming. Everyone gathered their belongings and got away as fast as they could.
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Post by Swanson on Dec 22, 2003 21:53:33 GMT -6
The Horde advanced on all of the heros. As is contrary to most stories, after a brief scrhrimage, many mindless hordemembers, and Aragon, Zyia, bart, and every other person or being mentions above, with the exemption of Ionix lay dead, or in many cases, dying. Ionix was a trained mercinary, but not even he could survive the onslaught coming from all sides. Ionix backed his way into a dead end ally, with a ten foot brick wall at his back. Ionix fought his pointless fight, and with the death of each horde member he proclaimed "Light will come again", but alas, for after about 80 victems, a not so mindless horde member scaled the wall behind Ionix, and lept down on him, bringing ionix to his knees. The mindless crowd surrounded him. If any concieous being would have been there they would have heard the ravaging screams of Ionix, but no one did, and no one came. Ionix, buried benieth the crowd, suffered countless stab wounds, with his eyes flooding with his ever diMinishing blood, Ionix saw Nathan. Nathan smiled and ran his light saber through the belly of Ionix. Ionix saw the would, and in a bloody muffled speach asked "And you Nathan". Then Ionix felt himself dying. He collapsed onto the ground, now unaware of the chunks of flesh being torn out of his back. His last thought before the cloak of death closed in on his being was as simple as, "well, this sucked..."
The End
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Post by Swanson on Dec 22, 2003 22:13:14 GMT -6
ps. this is the end. not a dream, or any other excuse. Ionix dies. the end. not open to interperetaion, unless ofcourse Zoel deleats this from forum, not untill then will I conceed that there is anyway in hell Ionix is still alive. THE FUCKER DIED! ITS OVER!
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EASRY4WAERAERAE4RRD
Guest
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Post by EASRY4WAERAERAE4RRD on Dec 22, 2003 22:18:25 GMT -6
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Post by MOHC TheGirl on Dec 24, 2003 10:05:47 GMT -6
[glow=red,2,300]Well, that sucks![/glow]
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Post by HCMBrainCandy on Dec 24, 2003 19:22:44 GMT -6
We'll just have to start again... Hmm...  |
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Post by MOHC TheGirl on Dec 25, 2003 11:41:41 GMT -6
Dearest Swanson...I don't understand why you are quite so angry about all of this. I wish you'd at the very least explain your bitterness towards the end.  Then, maybe, we coudl understand why you so desperately want to end the story. But, it's only me, and I know nothing, so...whatever you think best is fine.  |
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Then, maybe, we coudl understand why you so desperately want to end the story. But, it's only me, and I know nothing, so...whatever you think best is fine. 